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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Mennonites Demand Roll Kuchen at New Krispy Kreme Store

January 17, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The excitement is palpable in Winnipeg for the new Krispy Kreme store. One demographic will not be satisfied, however, until a few changes are made. “We can get a donut anywhere,” said Art […]

Unger Suspicion

Regina and Saskatoon Merge to Attract IKEA and a Hockey Team

January 16, 2023 Andrew

RESASKAGINA, SK Two medium-sized cities in Saskatchewan some 300 kms apart are planning to merge into one slightly larger city in an effort to attract an IKEA and maybe even an NHL team. “We can […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Can’t Remember Where He Parked His Winter Coat

January 15, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Area man Art Loeppky, 75, spent more than 45 minutes in the GMC lobby this morning trying to find his parka in amongst hundreds of other black winter coats. “Jauma! Now where did […]

Unger Suspicion

Stash of Spare Prince Harry Books Donated to Local Thrift Store

January 14, 2023 Andrew

FERSCHT HEINRICH, SK A huge of stash of spare Prince Harry books were dropped off at the local thrift store this afternoon. “Yeah, what can I say. I guess the bookstore had a few extras,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Biden Weighs Nationwide Ban on Gassy Mennonite Food

January 13, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Republicans are up in arms this week as the Biden administration is reportedly considering banning “gassy Mennonite food like schmaunt fat, formavorscht, and all those fried onions they like to put on the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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