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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Artificial Intelligence Wrote This Daily Bonnet Article (For Real)

January 9, 2023 Andrew

In yet one more way that the Internet is dead set on utterly destroying all of human civilization, artificial intelligence can now do our writing for us. Admittedly, it’s not very good at it … […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Discovered Hidden Behind Her Englisher Husband’s Surname

January 8, 2023 Andrew

HOCHSTEIN, MB When Sarah Smith, 27, moved to Hochstein from the city this year to run the coffee shop, locals were immediately impressed by the “authentic Englisher” they now had living in their midst. “Smith […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Critics Excited to Watch ‘Women Talking’ and Find All the “Errors”

January 7, 2023 Andrew

SCHAZENBACHDORF, MB Utterly obsessed with their own depiction in film and literature, a group of particularly persnickety Mennonite critics are flocking to the Schanzenbachdorf Theatre this week to look for the slightest of “errors” in […]

Unger Suspicion

Sunwing Passengers Stranded in La Crete, Alberta

January 6, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Rather than the sunny climes of Mexico, an entire plane of Sunwing Passengers somehow found themselves way up in northern Alberta this week. “I don’t know how the heck we got up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Invade Giant Tiger for Farmer Sausage Sale

January 5, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Word of a formavorscht sale at Giant Tiger spread like wildfire on WhatsApp this week and had Mennonites camping outside the store to get a good deal. “Oba, I didn’t know Giant Tiger […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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