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Month: December 2016

The Daily Bonnet

Let’s Face it, You’re Probably Getting Socks Again This Year

December 21, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Every year at this time young Mennonites around the world anticipate the annual giving and receiving of socks to commemorate the birth of the Saviour. “It’s the most disappointing time of the year,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local City Councillors Propose Budget of $0 For 2017

December 21, 2016 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB “Oba, stuff shouldn’t cost so much yet.” So said a local councillor at last night’s city council meeting. In reaction to the utterly startling revelation that “things actually cost money,” a small faction […]

The Daily Bonnet

Niverville to Build $24 Million Arts Centre Just to Prove They’re Better Than Steinbach

December 20, 2016 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB There has long been a friendly rivalry between the small but growing town of Niverville, Manitoba and it’s larger Mennonite neighbour Steinbach. Now that rivalry has been taken to new heights as Niverville […]

Unger Conviction

Confused Mennonite Grandma Sings Men’s Part on ‘Joy to the World’

December 20, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB A well-meaning but slightly disoriented Mennonite woman accidentally sang the men’s part during a Christmas caroling event this past week. “I’m really sorry,” said Mrs. Giesbrecht, 84, of Blumenort. “I’ve sung that song […]

The Daily Bonnet

Electoral College Declares the West Side ‘Jantsied’

December 19, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Despite overwhelming popular vote suggesting that the East Side was Jantsied, the Mennonite electoral colleges have decided that the West Side of the Red River is officially ‘Jantsied.’ “Some will say it’s not very […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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