Mennonites Dump Gallons of Yerba Tea into Chicago River


A river in downtown Chicago turned bright green this morning after thousands of Mennonites dumped all their leftover yerba mate into the water.

“I can’t figure it out. We woke up and the river was green,” said City of Chicago employee Darryl Daley. “The only explanation we could come up with was to blame the Mennonites and their yerba!”

So far no Mennonite groups have taken responsibility for the green river, but there is considerable physical evidence pointing in their direction.

“We found gourds and bombillas throughout the neighbourhood,” said Daley. “Plus, more than few broken suspenders. It must have been quite the party.”

Others are not quite so quick to blame yerba tea.

“It could have been dillweed or discarded rhubarb leaves,” said Mr. Schmidt. “I’m not sure why everyone’s so quick to blame the yerba yet!”

In unrelated news, St. Patrick was recently named the patron saint of the Paraguayan Chaco.

(photo credit: Natasha Jelezkina/CC)

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