Liberal Mennonite ‘Too Woke for Meddachschlop’

NORTH KILDONAN, MB

Manitoba’s self-proclaimed “wokest” Mennonite Dylan Heinrichs-Klassen-Guenther claims he has now risen above forms of oppression such as a nice Sunday afternoon meddachschlop.

Meddachschlop is highly problematic,” said Heinrichs-Klassen-Guenther. “I can’t think of anything more privileged than napping away your Sunday afternoon.”

Heinrichs-Klassen-Guenther says he used to indulge in afternoon naps once in a while, but now feels extreme guilt every time his eyelids drop.

“I’m even staying woke for the pastor’s sermon,” said Heinrichs-Klassen-Guenther, “but, you know, that’s just so I can critique it on my blog.”

Instead of napping on Sunday afternoons, Heinrichs-Klassen-Guenther now spends his time blogging and/or tweeting about issues that have recently come to his attention via social media.

“I like to keep informed about what’s happening and you can’t do that if you’re just meddachschlopping all the time,” said Heinrichs-Klassen-Guenther. “Let me put it bluntly: if you’re napping on Sunday afternoons, you’re part of the problem!”

Heinrichs-Klassen-Guenther pontificates about such things and more at his poorly-attended Sunday School class each week.

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