TEHRAN, IRAN
The United States has hit Iran with the most dangerous weapon in its arsenal: Taco Bell lettuce.
“If you don’t open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, we’re going to bombard you with Taco Bell,” said Trump. “And believe me, it won’t be pleasant.”
The most powerful country on earth had apparently been unable to neutralize the threat imposed by Iran with more conventional weapons.
“We’ve been at it for months and it’s been a total failure,” said Trump. “We take out their leaders and the new ones are just as bad. But no more Mr. Nice Guy. It’s time to bring out the Taco Bell.”
Amnesty International has condemned the attack, saying that dropping Taco Bell lettuce on a civilian population is a crime against humanity.
“I urge everyone to sign our petition to place Taco Bell lettuce on the banned weapons list,” said spokesperson Erin Kroeker. “Absolutely no nation should have access to that king of weaponry.”
Understanding the imminent threat of Taco Bell lettuce, the Iranian regime immediately gave up their arms, relinquished power, and opened the strait.
(photo credit: Mike Mozart/CC)
