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winter

Unger Games

Winter Olympics Come and Go Without a Single Person Noticing

February 27, 2022 Andrew

BEIJING, CHINA According to sources there was a winter Olympics earlier this month, but not a single person on the face of the planet was aware of it. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” […]

Unger Conviction

Man with Snowblower Finds Renewed Sense of Purpose and Meaning

February 26, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Abe Broesky, 53, recently experienced a renewed sense of spiritual purpose in his life all due to the fact he happens to own a snowblower. “Sometimes I think to myself, ‘Abe, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanites Excited for “Vinta Olympics”

February 4, 2022 Andrew

BEIJING, CHINA Mannanites around the globe are excited for the 2022 Vinta Olympics, which they hope will be a nice distraction from “all the political stuff yet.” The 2022 event will feature a number of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Wears Face Mask Just to Keep Warm

December 19, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Local woman Rachel Driedger, 23, doesn’t bother to take her face mask off, even when she’s outdoors, not with temperatures dropping to -20 this week. “It’s better than a scarf,” says Driedger. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Puts on His Winter Tires

November 13, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mr. Kliewer of Leamington is always the last one in town to put on his winter tires, usually waiting until there’s at least three feet of snow at minimum. “Mennonites don’t need any […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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