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winter

Unger & Thirst

Controversial Mennonite Woman Cooks Up Batch of Somma Borscht in Winter

March 7, 2019 Andrew

HOCHFELD, MB Mrs. Plett of Hochfeld really shook things up at the soup and pie fundraiser this week after brazenly cooking up a batch of somma borscht in the dead of winter. “Oba nay, the […]

Unger Suspicion

One Million Manitobans Trapped in their Driveways Due to Obstructed Views

March 6, 2019 Andrew

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB More than a million Manitobans have been trapped at the edge of their driveways this winter unable to see clearly enough beyond the huge mounds of piled up snow. “I’ve been […]

Unger Games

‘Mount Kenaston’ Ski Hill Closes for the Season

March 2, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s highest and favourite ski hill ‘Mount Kenaston’ is closing for the 2019 season after temperatures rose to minus twenty this weekend. “We’re getting into spring now and we’ve decided to shut things […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Beaches to Open This Weekend After Temperatures Soar to -15!

February 13, 2019 Andrew

LAKE WINNIPEG, MB Manitobans have been sporting swimwear this entire week after temperatures reached daytime highs of -15 degrees celsius. The temperatures are so unseasonably warm that beaches will be opening early this year. “It’ll […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Drills Ice-Fishing Hole in Kitchen Floor

February 8, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Mrs. Hiebert was “completely unimpressed” with the hole her husband had drilled in the kitchen floor when she came home from Bible Study on Wednesday night. “He says he’s ice-fishing,” said Mrs. Hiebert. […]

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