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winter

Unger Suspicion

“What is this – Calgary?” Winnipeg Man Can’t Figure Out Warm Holiday Temperatures

December 28, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After temperatures soared into the single digits below zero, (Okay, Americans, I mean just below zero Celsius), North Kildonan resident Peter Wiens decided to strip to his undies and take a nice swim […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Becomes First to Reach the Summit of Abe’s Hill

December 10, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Richard Loeppky, with the assistance of his schekjbenjel Pieta, planted a flag at the top of southern Manitoba’s highest peak, Abe’s Hill, this week. It was the first time the peak […]

Unger Conviction

Snow Finally Melts Freeing Up Precious Spots in Church Parking Lot

April 23, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Every winter the parking situation at Altona Gospel Brethren Mennonite Fellowship Church becomes a bit awkward as a huge pile of snow accumulates on the lot and reduces the parking capacity by up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Children Super Excited for the Return of Christmas

April 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After an unexpected blizzard this week, children across southern Manitoba woke up to a blanket of snow and began frantically filling out their Christmas wish lists. “Christmas! It’s Christmas,” exclaimed little Sally Doerksen, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba’s Most Progressive Mennonite Man Moves His Clock Forward an Hour

March 10, 2019 Andrew

REINHOF, MB A man from the small hamlet of Reinhof is being hailed as a “free-thinking radical” after moving his clock forward an hour last night. “What can I say,” said Mr. Reimer. “I’ve always […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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