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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Ventures Into Osborne Village

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Petey and Aganetha Hiebert of Altona, Manitoba found themselves in the “den of iniquity” after a GPS error led them to the Osborne Village neighbourhood of Winnipeg. “Oba, nay! Would you look at […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Pothole Swallows Entire Mennonite Family

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After more than a week of searching, a local Mennonite family has been declared ‘officially lost’ after their horse and buggy plummeted into a gigantic pothole on Henderson Highway at the end of […]

The Daily Bonnet

’25 Minutes to Steinbach’ Sign Fails to Withstand Scientific Testing

April 3, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For decades a sign just outside of Winnipeg on Highway 1 informed drivers that they were just “25 minutes” from Steinbach, the Automobile City. However, rigorous scientific research has proven that the 25 minute estimate […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand Winnipeg Mayor to Change the City Name to ‘Vanapag’

March 20, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonites from across the city surrounded Winnipeg City Hall on Friday demanding that Mayor Bowman change the name of the city to Vanapag. “We’re here today to express our desire to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Census: Steinbach Population to Surpass Winnipeg by 2217

March 6, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The recent Canadian census has sparked a rivalry between the growing Mennonite town of Steinbach and its (currently) much larger provincial capital. If current rates of growth continue, Steinbach, already the third-largest community in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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