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Unger Suspicion

Granola Shortage Creates Panic in Wolseley

March 20, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A massive granola shortage this spring has residents of the Winnipeg neighbourhood of Wolseley in quite the panic. Desperate residents met at an area United church to discuss the shortage. “Went to the […]

Unger Games

‘Mount Kenaston’ Ski Hill Closes for the Season

March 2, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s highest and favourite ski hill ‘Mount Kenaston’ is closing for the 2019 season after temperatures rose to minus twenty this weekend. “We’re getting into spring now and we’ve decided to shut things […]

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Woman Enters Rehab With Honey Dill Sauce Addiction

February 10, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Lois Goerzen has been checked into a local rehab facility following a week-long binge on honey dill sauce. “We’ve been concerned for a while, but last week was the final straw,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Entire Province of Manitoba ‘Moving to BC’

January 30, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a near record-setting cold snap, the entire province of Manitoba has decided to pack their bags and move in with the Doerksens of Abbotsford. “The Trans-Canada Highway going west is jam-packed,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Couple Plans ‘Nice, Warm, Tropical Vacation’ on Mars

January 28, 2019 Andrew

MARS After temperatures in Winnipeg drop below -30 degrees, local couple, Lois and Peter Doerksen, decided they “had enough of the cold” and are packing their bags and heading for the “balmy weather of Mars.” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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