The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

winnipeg jets

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks

May 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a narrow defeat in double overtime on Sunday, followed by a come-from-way-behind victory on Tuesday, Winnipeg hospitals are now filled to the brim with Jets-induced heart attack victims. “If this keeps up, […]

Unger Suspicion

Nation Shocked as Canadian NHL Team Wins Playoff Series Without Rioting

April 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tens of thousands of fans lined the streets of downtown Winnipeg on Friday night to celebrate the Jets first round playoff victory over the Minnesota Wild. Jets fans bucked decades of Canadian hockey […]

Unger Suspicion

Why Every Single Winnipeg Jets Player is Actually a Mennonite

April 21, 2018 Andrew

I’m not much one for conspiracies, but I think something’s going on here. Much has been made of the fact that Finnish superstar Patrik Laine seems awfully Mennonite with his beard and teetotaling. However, if […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Fans Ruin Winnipeg Jets Whiteout By Wearing All Black Suits

April 12, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Apparently unaware of the long-standing playoff tradition of wearing white, local Old Order Mennonite Peter Friesen decided to wear his very best black suit to Vanapag Yats game this week. “Vell, I vanted […]

Unger Suspicion

Here’s Your Winnipeg Weather Forecast for the Next Few Months

April 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It looks like an extended winter this year in Winnipeg. Daily Bonnet meteorologists have examined the evidence and are officially predicting whiteout conditions well into June. “No early spring this year,” said Daily […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 9 10 11 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • New Steakhouse to Offer Extra Tough and Chewy Steak ‘Just the Way Mennonites Like It’
    March 25, 2024
  • Mennonites Still Waiting for the Rest of the Story from Paul Harvey
    June 6, 2020
  • Premier Goertzen Declares First Monday in September ‘Meddachschlop Day’
    September 6, 2021
  • Top Ten Daily Bonnet Articles of 2021
    December 31, 2021
  • The Ultimate ‘Mennonites of Latin America’ Quiz!
    August 10, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved