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winkler

The Daily Bonnet

Passport Now Required to Visit Jantsied

January 28, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Authorities at the border crossing in Rosenort have just announced that starting next month Mennonites will be required to show a valid passport when entering Jantsied. The announcement was met with fierce opposition […]

The Daily Bonnet

Open Casting Call in Winkler for New ‘Planet of the Abes’ Movie

December 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abes across the Pembina Valley will be flocking to the parking lot at the EMBCC church this weekend to have a chance to take part in the new ‘Planet of the Abes’ movie. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Sees Surge in ‘West Reserve Alienation’ After Election Results

October 24, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Residents of the former Mennonite West Reserve (or Jantsied as it’s more commonly known) have become increasingly disenchanted with the state of politics at the present day. This feeling of alienation is so […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden and Winkler Tired of Having to Share a Hospital

September 16, 2019 Andrew

HALFWAY BETWEEN MORDEN AND WINKLER, MB Mr. Penner of Winkler was mighty upset this week after he found out he had to share a hospital room with that Mr. Sawatzky from Morden. “Ugh, a Mordener […]

Unger Suspicion

Winkler Welcomes the Return of Legendary 60s Folk Duo ‘Peter Pauls and Mary’

August 1, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Winklerites have been snatching up tickets to see the long-awaited return of legendary 60s folk rock duo Peter Pauls and Mary. “Oba, I remember them since the charch picnic in 1964,” said Mr. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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