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winkler

The Daily Bonnet

‘Winkler Humility’ March Offers Stark Contrast to ‘Morden Pride’

June 24, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Days after Morden’s first ever Pride march, a confused, yet earnest, Mennonite man from Winkler decided to hold a march of his own. “Jauma, those Mordeners, always so proud and smiling and having […]

Quizzes

The Ultimate Pembina Valley Mennonite Quiz!

March 16, 2019 Andrew

Well, so, oba, how much do you know abouts da Mannanates of da former West Reserve once? We’ll see now, won’t we yet? Okay, dan! [os-widget path=”/dailybonnet/the-ultimate-pembina-valley-quiz”]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler-Steinbach Rivalry to Be Settled With Winner-Take-All Dutch Blitz Tournament

February 20, 2019 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After years of bitter rivalry between the two Mennonite megalopolises, a grand Dutch Blitz tournament will forever determine who are the better Mennonites. Winkler and Steinbach will send their best Dutch Blitz players to Rosenort, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Puerto Vallarta to Be Renamed ‘Little Winkler’

January 15, 2019 Andrew

PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO After nearly two-thirds of the Winkler population vacated their homes and showed up on a charter flight to Puerto Vallerta this past week, the mayor of the Mexican resort town has decided […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Politician Demands $5 Billion Wall Around Morden

January 9, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Church board member and man-about-town Mr. Toews of Winkler is threatening to shut down the local government unless the local senate approves a $5.7 billon wall around the neighbouring town of Morden. “You […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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