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violence

Unger Suspicion

Pacifist Lions on Verge of Extinction

January 24, 2017 Andrew

KRUGER NP, SOUTH AFRICA According to recent reports by wildlife biologists in South Africa, the population of pacifist lions has been in steady decline over the past few decades. The number of non-resistent lions is […]

Unger Conviction

Three Mennonites Hospitalized After Brutal Drive-By Shunning

December 7, 2016 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Three young Mennonites are in critical condition this weekend after a random drive-by shunning at a local Wal-Mart. “We’re not yet sure what prompted the shunning,” said Police Chief Dennis Dueck. “We think […]

The Daily Bonnet

Poll: Vote Now to Determine What the Daily Bonnet Should Write on Remembrance Day

November 11, 2016 Andrew

It would seem peculiar for a website dedicated to Mennonite satire to completely ignore the topic of Remembrance Day, given the historic importance of the peace position within Anabaptist tradition. As a pacifist, I do […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather Today to Solemnly Forget

November 11, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB During his annual Forgetfulness Day service, Reverend B. B. Broesky Jr. told congregants that there were many awful thing that happened in the past and it was best just to move on and […]

Unger Conviction

I Did Not Come to Bring Peace, But a Sword

November 11, 2016 Andrew

You have selected: “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Please enjoy the following Bible verses on the topic of violence: “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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