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Unger Suspicion

Quentin Tarantino to Direct Bloodiest Mennonite Film Ever

July 19, 2016 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Controversial film-maker Quentin Tarantino is in southern Manitoba this week scouting locations for his newest blockbuster Dueck Unchained. “I’ve always been fascinated by Mennonites,” said Tarantino. “One of the extras on Kill Bill […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Hockey Players Forbidden from Completing ‘Gordie Howe Hat Trick’

June 12, 2016 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK A minor hockey association in a predominantly Mennonite town has decided to officially forbid players from completing the infamous ‘Gordie Howe Hat Trick.’ “We don’t mind people going two-thirds of the way into the […]

Unger Suspicion

Ted Falk Unscathed After Lone Elbowist Attacks Canadian Parliament

May 20, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Provencher MP Ted Falk managed to escape the House of Commons unharmed as a brutal elbow attack ravaged Parliament Hill on Thursday. “Those things are sharp, especially the Prime Minister’s,” commented Falk, still […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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