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toronto

Unger Suspicion

Etobicoke Eager to Become the New Steinbach

November 28, 2020 Andrew

ETOBICOKE, ON With barbecue joints defying health orders and hundreds of partiers caught not social distancing in a storage locker, the community of Etobicoke, Ontario is eagerly seeking to dethrone Steinbach, Manitoba as the “Covid […]

Unger Suspicion

Maple Leafs to Social Distance from the Cup Again this Year

July 2, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON While the upcoming NHL season may be a bit strange for most of the other teams, it’s business as usual for the Toronto Maple Leafs who have been practicing social distancing from the […]

Unger & Thirst

Toronto Woman Caught Smuggling Three Suitcases Full of Farmer Sausage

September 17, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Mrs. Wiebe, 47, of Toronto was caught at the Pearson Airport this week with three suitcases packed full of delicious Mennonite farmer sausage that she obtained on a recent trip to southern Manitoba. […]

Unger Games

Toronto Reaches Trade Deal with St. Louis to Swap Trophies

June 14, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After stiff negotiations, the City of Toronto has reached a trade deal with the City of St. Louis to trade their NBA Championship Trophy for a Stanley Cup. “Of course, St. Louis doesn’t […]

Unger Games

Toronto Maple Leafs Pursue First Goal Since 1967

October 4, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Expectations for the Toronto Maple Leafs are quite high this year. Having not scored a goal in fifty years, fans are hoping that this will finally be the year that the curse is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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