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toronto

Unger Games

Mennonite Runner Turns Map Into Giant Dancing Dill Pickle

December 9, 2024 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Area man Gabe Eby, 29, has been jogging all over KW during the past few months creating patterns on his running app that his fellow Mennonites will find recognizable and comforting. “At first […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Swifties to Exchange ‘Frintschoft’ Bracelets this Weekend

November 16, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Dozens of Mennonite Swifties have defied church orders and travelled from as far away as Aylmer and Leamington to attend a Taylor Swift concert in Toronto this weekend. “I’m going to hear about […]

Unger Suspicion

Pipeline to Supply Calgary With Toronto Water

July 17, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON More than $12 billion will be spent to repurpose an old oil pipeline to send excess water from flooded Toronto all the way out to Calgary where they need it. “It’s about time […]

Unger Suspicion

Plane to Taxi All the Way from Toronto to Calgary

July 1, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A routine flight from Toronto to Calgary entered the 401 highway this morning and is now taxiing all the way to Calgary. “We boarded the plane at 1 o’clock and I decided to […]

Unger Games

Maple Leafs Hire Loblaws CEO Galen Weston to Artificially Inflate Fan Expectations

May 13, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A few short days after being tossed from the playoffs and firing yet another head coach, the Toronto Maple Leafs have announced the signing of Loblaws CEO Galen Weston, renowned across the country […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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