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toilet

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Gives Throne Speech

May 27, 2025 Andrew

TABER, AB Area man Roger Goertzen, 46, was so aghast at the videos he was watching on TikTok this afternoon that he started yelling through the door at anyone who was in proximity to hear. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wins Nobel Peace Prize for Remembering to Lift the Toilet Seat

March 29, 2024 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Devoted husband and father of four, Bert Harder, 51, just received word this week that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize for being the first Mennonite man to lift the toilet seat. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Invokes Emergencies Act to Remove Husband from Bathroom

February 24, 2022 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC After her husband Dan had “been on the can for more than an hour,” Mrs. Susan Kliewer of Black Creek declared the Emergencies Act. “My gosh, I bet he’s reading back issues […]

Unger Conviction

Local Man Lives Unnoticed in Megachurch Restroom for 10 Years

July 12, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Custodial staff at Winnipeg megachurch, Waters of Blessing, were shocked to find a man in a state of undress curled up in the corner of the men’s room on Tuesday night. “I found […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Saves Thousands By Separating the Two-Ply

April 8, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB Local woman Maria Dueck, 43, estimates she’s saved her family more than five thousand dollars this year by turning her two-ply toilet paper into one. As a mother of twelve growing children and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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