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The Daily Bonnet

Hilarious New Show Features Leading Anabaptist Scholars in ‘Drunk Mennonite History’

October 21, 2020 Andrew

SOME CABIN IN THE WHITESHELL, MB A popular new television program is hoping to gather top Mennonite scholars from around the world to give their take on important historic Mennonite events such as the signing […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Rebranded as ‘Schmidt’s Creek’ for Sensitive Southern Manitoba Market

October 2, 2020 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Emmy-winning and wildly popular Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek has been rebranded Schmidt’s Creek in the southern Manitoba market. “Oba, waut de schissjat is this yet!” said Mr. Klassen flipping through the channels. “A […]

Unger & Thirst

New “I’d Like to Buy the World a Papsi” Ad Targets Mennonites

June 23, 2020 Andrew

HARRISON, NY Papsi sales have gone through the roof this week after the airing of a brand new ad featuring Mennonites from across the globe standing on a hill-top singing “I’d like to buy the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loses Thousands Betting on Replays of Last Year’s Football Games

June 20, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mr. Unger was so excited to finally be able to watch some Canadian football games this week that he bet his friend Mr. Toews more than ten thousand dollars that the Ticats […]

Unger Suspicion

Yosemite Sam Gives Up His Guns, Plans to Attend Anabaptist Seminary this Fall

June 13, 2020 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Longtime gun-totter Yosemite Sam just announced he’s laying down his arms and plans to enroll in the seminary at nearby Fresno Pacific University this fall. “It was a Road to Damascus moment for […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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