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television

The Daily Bonnet

New CBC Show ‘Pure’ Gets An Enthusiastic ‘Oh ba yo’ From Knels and Annie Krahn

January 10, 2017 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Da Annie and me don’t normally vatch da talavision, but I got da rabbit ears vorking once for sure ven I heard about a new show about da Mannanites yet. I tell to my Annie, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Men Take Cover in their Barns as Wives Gather to Watch ‘Gilmore Girls’

November 25, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mennonite men across North America have joined their non-Mennonite counterparts in staying far far away from the house this evening as millions of women get together to watch the Netflix reboot of ‘Gilmore […]

The Daily Bonnet

TV Remote Far Too Complicated for Taunte Mary

November 14, 2016 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Taunte Mary of Gretna had to call her nephew Phillip yet again this past week when she couldn’t figure out how to get the television to turn on after having watched a DVD of ‘Doctor […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Renounces Genealogy After Connection to Homer Simpson is Discovered

November 4, 2016 Andrew

MAIN CENTRE, SK Local Mennonite elder Leon Groening suddenly ceased his genealogy hobby on Friday after discovering a connection to cartoon imbecile Homer Simpson. “I was on Grandma’s Window – you know the Mennonite genealogy website […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Hires CNN to ‘Fact-Check’ Her Husband

October 30, 2016 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Tired of “his constant BS,” local Mennonite woman, Mary Penner, 75, of Anaheim, decided to submit her husband Pete to a CNN Reality Check. “I just wasn’t sure that what he was telling […]

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