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ted falk

Unger & Thirst

Why Canada is Unlocking Its Vault of Rogers Golden Syrup

December 2, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Ahh, Rogers Golden Syrup, aka liquid gold. In more ways than you imagined. It’s a little known fact that Canada keeps a reservoir of Rogers underneath the House of Commons. It’s Canada’s Fort […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbachers Elect Peter Falk as New MP

May 26, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Continuing their longstanding tradition of electing Falks and Barkmans, residents of Steinbach have resoundingly decided to send Peter Falk to Ottawa. “We were happy with Ted, but when we heard we could get […]

Unger & Thirst

Stash of Roll Kuchen Discovered Beneath Trudeau’s Desk

March 21, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had to apologize to the Canadian people once again this past week after a stash of delicious roll kuchen was discovered hidden beneath his desk in the House of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Subsists Entirely on Free Hot Dogs

September 18, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For more than thirty years, local man Mr. F. Wiens has been a fixture at free hot dog giveaways across the Hanover area. From grand openings to open houses and church picnics to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Typo Leads Ted Falk Supporters to TED Talk

March 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A minute spelling error in a newspaper ad led hundreds of Ted Falk voters to a lecture hall at the University of Manitoba this past week. Instead of a speech by the Provencher MP, they […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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