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tacos

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Finally Gets an Authentic Mexican Restaurant

September 24, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Several years after an earlier version of the same restaurant shuttered its doors, Taco Bell is once again opening in the city. The announcement is exciting locals who will finally get their authentic […]

Unger & Thirst

Canadian Mennonite Dares to Try the Hot Sauce from Mexican Import Store

July 19, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Area man Andrew Siemens has become the first Canadian Mennonite ever to follow his Mexican cousin to the import store and try the hot sauce. “Dietschlaunt, that’s hot!” exclaimed Andrew, encountering the mildest […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Regrets Ordering Taco Bell Right Before Church

December 2, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Jack Friesen had a real hankering for Taco Bell this past Sunday morning, but instantly regretted it the moment he sat down in church. “Yeah, well, it all tastes good going […]

Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Partiers Show Up to Mennonite Man’s “Hot New Disco”

September 8, 2022 Andrew

HOCHFELD, MEXICO Equipped with bellbottoms and Bee Gees records, thousands of eager dancers showed up in the tiny village of Hochfeld, Mexico this week for what promised to be the “hottest disco in all of […]

Unger Suspicion

Taco Bell Purchases John Coltrane Catalogue for $200 Million

July 13, 2022 Andrew

IRVINE, CA In an effort to attract a more sophisticated audience, fast food giant Taco Bell is in talks to purchase the music catalogues of jazz legends Bill Evans, Charles Mingus, and John Coltrane. “A […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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