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The Daily Bonnet

Mr. Enns Accuses Mr. Ens of ‘Sheer Laziness’

April 20, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Enns has accused Mr. Ens of the greatest crime a Mennonite can commit: laziness. Evidence of this ‘sheer laziness’ is the fact that Mr. Ens decides to spell his name with only […]

The Daily Bonnet

You’re So Vain, You Probably Think this Post is About You, Don’t You, Don’t You?

February 26, 2020 Andrew

Oba, nay, so yust because it says Johan Friesen in the article doesn’t mean it’s about you. There are many Johan Friesens. There are twenty-seven in the Schteinback phone book alone, not to mention all […]

The Daily Bonnet

People Keep Assuming Kansas Friesens are Secretly Canadian

February 10, 2020 Andrew

MEADE, KS The Friesens of Kansas have an announcement to make: “We’re not Canadians!” “Any time I go anywhere people assume I’m from Manitoba,” said Mr. Friesen. “Gosh, you know not all the Friesens left […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jake Dycks Fill Winkler Arena for Annual Jake Dyck Festival

February 2, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Winkler Arena was filled to the brim with Jake Dycks this weekend for the twenty-fifth annual Jake Dyck Festival. “There are Jake Dycks around the world from La Crete and Filadelfia to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man With Obscure Mennonite Surname Feeling Totally Left Out

December 13, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Local man Henry Mierau is sick and tired of all the attention given to “mainstream” Mennos like the Reimers and Penners and is demanding that the Mieraus be given their space on […]

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