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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Awarded Top Prize in Annual Southern Manitoba Flower Festival

May 30, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Competition has been fierce this spring, but Mrs. Epp of Steinbach has come out on top at the annual Southern Manitoba Flower Festival. “I heard there were about 1.3 million competitors this year,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Porch Swing Launches Mennonite Grandma into Neighbour’s Yard

May 23, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Penner was sent flying into the Goosen’s yard last night after an overly vigorous session on the porch swing. “Oba, I was out tending the BBQ and I looked up and what […]

Unger & Thirst

Controversial Mennonite Woman Cooks Up Batch of Somma Borscht in Winter

March 7, 2019 Andrew

HOCHFELD, MB Mrs. Plett of Hochfeld really shook things up at the soup and pie fundraiser this week after brazenly cooking up a batch of somma borscht in the dead of winter. “Oba nay, the […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Beaches to Open This Weekend After Temperatures Soar to -15!

February 13, 2019 Andrew

LAKE WINNIPEG, MB Manitobans have been sporting swimwear this entire week after temperatures reached daytime highs of -15 degrees celsius. The temperatures are so unseasonably warm that beaches will be opening early this year. “It’ll […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Arrested for Complaining About the Heat

August 18, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Herman Toews never thought his casual comment about the weather would land him in jail, but he found out on Wednesday that complaining about the heat in a city known for […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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