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steinbach

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers to Vote on Whether to Legalize Romaine Lettuce

November 25, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After dozens of people have taken ill from E. coli-tainted romaine lettuce, Steinbach city council decided it was time to see how locals felt about this dangerous and addictive substance. “We’re gonna do […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers ‘Super Excited’ to Finally Have Some Sort of Prohibition Once Again

October 25, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After decades of being the only community in Manitoba to ban alcohol sales, Steinbach has felt a little out-of-sorts since the first liquor store opened in 2009. So, this October, as Canada legalized […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking News! No Abes Running for Steinbach City Council this Term!

September 30, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s the most shocking revelation of the 2018 campaign season: for the first time in Steinbach history, the list of city council candidates is completely Abe-less. Instead the list of candidates includes an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cairn to Honour Steinbach’s Founder St. Einbach

September 3, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local history committee has decided it was about time there was some acknowledgement of Steinbach’s patron saint and founder St. Einbach. A large cairn depicting St. Einbach, riding a traditional Mennonite chariot, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Residents Required to Display ‘Steinbach Driver’ Sign in Back Windshield

August 26, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Under a new local graduated licensing program, Steinbach drivers will now be required to display a sign in the back windshield of their vehicles as a warning to other drivers. Local officials say […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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