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stanley cup

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates His Own ‘Stanley Cup’

January 13, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area man Stanley Wolgemuth is capitalizing on the Stanley cup craze by creating one of his own … using only a McDonald’s paper cup, some masking tape, and a little bit of ingenuity. […]

The Daily Bonnet

NHL Teams Clamour to Sign Any Toews They Can

July 2, 2022 Andrew

DENVER, CO After the Stanley Cup successes of Jonathan Toews and Devon Toews (no relation), NHL squads are now looking to sign any and every Toews they can get their hands on. “Get a Toews […]

Unger & Thirst

Toews Fills Stanley Cup with Delicious Somma Borscht

June 29, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The ladies from the Abbotsford auxiliary borscht committee were working late into the night yesterday to pick out all the little bits of sorrel and beet greens that had become lodged in the […]

Unger Games

This Year’s Stanley Cup to be Awarded to NHL’s Most Deserving Fans

March 26, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Since the cancellation of the NHL season is more-or-less a foregone conclusion by now, NHL executives have decided to award the Stanley Cup to the league’s most deserving fanbase, the Winnipeg Jets. “We […]

Unger Suspicion

Here’s Your Winnipeg Weather Forecast for the Next Few Months

April 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It looks like an extended winter this year in Winnipeg. Daily Bonnet meteorologists have examined the evidence and are officially predicting whiteout conditions well into June. “No early spring this year,” said Daily […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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