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Unger Games

2018 FIFA Mennonite World Cup Rankings

June 14, 2018 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA FIFA has announced its final rankings just before the 2018 Mennonite World Cup in Russia. Some of these rankings have us a little baffled. Let’s have a look. 1) Russia  – Some have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Stuck in Downward Dog

June 9, 2018 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local woman and novice yoga practitioner Sarah Martens, 31, was unable to get herself out of the downward dog position at class last week. After an hour of trying to maneuver herself into […]

Unger Games

Vegas Knights to Fold and Be Replaced With Massive ‘Game of Thrones’ Show

June 7, 2018 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV After just one year in Sin City, the Vegas Knights have decided to hang up their skates and focus on something they’re good at: Game of Thrones themed pre-game shows. “I just […]

The Daily Bonnet

One-‘N’-Bergmans to Battle Two-‘N’-Bergmanns This Sunday Afternoon at Altona Park

June 4, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Bergman(n)s across Southern Manitoba will duke it out this Sunday at Altona Memorial Park. The competition, which consists mostly of feats of strength and Plautdietsch spelling, will decide once and for all how […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Converts to Hinduism Five Minutes into Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown DVD

April 26, 2018 Andrew

BOISSEVAIN, MB Yogaphobia has invaded a small Manitoba town after Mrs. Martens, 42, longtime women’s ministry co-ordinator at the local Mennonite church, declared she was “done with the faith” and decided to dedicate her life […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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