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The Daily Bonnet

One-‘N’-Bergmans to Battle Two-‘N’-Bergmanns This Sunday Afternoon at Altona Park

June 4, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Bergman(n)s across Southern Manitoba will duke it out this Sunday at Altona Memorial Park. The competition, which consists mostly of feats of strength and Plautdietsch spelling, will decide once and for all how […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Converts to Hinduism Five Minutes into Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown DVD

April 26, 2018 Andrew

BOISSEVAIN, MB Yogaphobia has invaded a small Manitoba town after Mrs. Martens, 42, longtime women’s ministry co-ordinator at the local Mennonite church, declared she was “done with the faith” and decided to dedicate her life […]

Unger Games

American Hockey Expert Makes His Picks for NHL Playoffs

April 25, 2018 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY America’s foremost hockey expert has made his prognostication for the 2018 NHL playoffs. After a meticulous five minute Google search where he learned the entirety of his hockey knowledge, the American analyst […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Embarks on New Career After a Weekend of Gorging on Oma’s Cooking

April 2, 2018 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Local man Billy Fehr has decided to quit his job at the Leamington ketchup factory to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a professional sumo wrestler. Fehr said he made his decision after […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Hides Geocache in Church to Attract New Members

March 19, 2018 Andrew

AKRON, PA In an attempt to be more “missional” and attract new members, Pastor Dave of West Akron Mennonite planted five cleverly hidden geocaches in his church this past Sunday. “It worked out great. We […]

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