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Unger Games

Calgarians Vote Not to Host Massive $5 Billion Faspa

November 14, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Calgary has spoken. They do not want to host the 2026 quadrennial winter Faspa. In a plebiscite this week, Calgary voted overwhelmingly in favour of just ordering in Chinese food on that Sunday […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Hockey Fans Yell ‘True North’ During Hymn Sing

October 10, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB As the Winnipeg Jets played their home opener last night, Mennonite hockey fans across the province are excited for the upcoming season. Some were so excited that they spontaneously yelled “True North” in […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Eaton’s Emm Kjalla’ to Re-open Under Bell MTS Place

September 21, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba were saddling up their horses in anticipation of the grand opening of the new bargain basement below the current hockey arena. The new ‘Eaton’s Emm Kjalla’ marks a triumphant […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Choir Reveals New Third Jersey

September 16, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Osterwick Old Colony Choir and Farmer Sausage Co-operative has revealed a new alternate jersey for the 2018-2019 season. The new jersey, which contains purple flowers rather than the regular blue or yellow, […]

Unger Games

Elderly Mennonite Woman Picks Off Johnny Manziel Four Times in CFL Debut

August 9, 2018 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC The Hamilton Tigercats were so confident in their ability to stop controversial former college star Johnny Manziel this week that they decided to bring in an elderly Mennonite woman on defence. And, boy, […]

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