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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Begrudgingly Signs Up for Sportsnet So He Can Watch the Jets Game

April 10, 2019 Andrew

ARBORG, MB Peter Giesbrecht, 67, is really looking forward to the Jets playoff push this year. One thing, however, that he’s not too keen on is subscribing to Rogers Sportsnet just so he can watch […]

Unger Games

Angry Mennonite Hockey Fan Can’t Figure Out “Waut de schissjat is wrong with those Jats yet!”

April 7, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local hockey fan Mr. Kehler, who owns three acres just off Henderson Highway in Vanapag, is sea upset about the Jats performance as of late and expressed his rage in a recent Facebook […]

Unger & Thirst

Rogers Crew Getting Really Fat From All This Mennonite Food

March 10, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After hitting up Winkler last weekend and Steinbach this weekend, the Rogers Sportsnet crew has gained an average of twenty-three pounds in just two weeks. “When we chose to do Hometown Hockey in […]

Unger Games

‘Mount Kenaston’ Ski Hill Closes for the Season

March 2, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s highest and favourite ski hill ‘Mount Kenaston’ is closing for the 2019 season after temperatures rose to minus twenty this weekend. “We’re getting into spring now and we’ve decided to shut things […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Offers ‘Gorgeous New Pool Facilities’ to Rural Residents

March 1, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Residents of neighbouring rural areas are being offered “first dibs” on some gorgeous new swimming facilities on the corner of Reimer and Pine. “It’s the least we can do to show our appreciation […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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