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Unger Suspicion

School Children in Waterloo, Ontario Required to Sing ABBA Song Every Morning

October 22, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Starting this fall, hundreds of students in Waterloo, Ontario have been singing a new anthem each morning at 9 o’clock. “First we take attendance and do the announcements, then the kids stand up […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Child Opens Lunch Box to Find a Lard Sandwich Yet Again Today

May 10, 2019 Andrew

HOCHFELD, SK Little Earl Petkau could hardly wait to open up his Patridge Family lunch box and search around to see what his mom had packed him. Unfortunately, Earl’s hopes were quickly dashed as mom […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite College Student Faints with Excitement at Hauerwas Lecture

April 29, 2019 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Thousands of die hard Stanley Hauerwas fans packed BC Place Stadium this week to hear the famed theologian give an hour long public lecture. The crowd was so excited to see the Resident Aliens-author […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Awarded Ph.D. in Basket Weaving

March 30, 2019 Andrew

SHARTFIELD, SK While Shartfield Mennonite Bible School has been offering diplomas in basket weaving for decades, Mr. Peter Wiebe has become the first ever to make it all the way to Ph.D. status. “Oba, my […]

Unger Conviction

Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools

March 15, 2019 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN The Yoder family of Goshen is just one of dozens of Mennonite families who found themselves in the midst of the largest Sunday school admissions scandal in Mennonite church history. From 2015-2018, the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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