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salad

Unger & Thirst

Local Grocery Puts Romaine Lettuce Under Lock and Key

December 14, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHASSELHOF, MB The local Unsafeway Store has had to put their entire supply of romaine lettuce under lock and key this week after a rash of thefts nearly brought the store to its knees. “Let’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Slops $1000 Worth of Caesar Salad on His Plate

November 27, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abe Toews of Winkler was at the extended Toews gathering this weekend when he got to the end of the potluck line and decided he had just enough room on his plate for […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Potluck Offers Incredible Array of Macaroni Salads

October 16, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Attendees at the North Goshen Mennonite Church potluck this past Sunday were in left in absolute shock at the diverse array of macaroni salads on offer. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Takes Home the Super Bowl

February 7, 2021 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Mrs. Esther Friesen, 82, of Newton, Kansas managed to sneak into the church kitchen this Sunday and grab the 1970s Tupperware bowl that she’d left there before the pandemic began last year. “I’m […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Salads Consist Mostly of Whipped Cream

January 27, 2018 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON First-time attendees at a recent church potluck were shocked to discover just what passes for salad in Mennonite country. The Bennett family of Toronto ventured out of the big city to visit relatives […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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