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romance

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Denies Rumour that She and Corny are “More than Just Cousins”

January 20, 2020 Andrew

OSTERWICK, MB After Mary Toews and her cousin Corny were seen spending an awful lot of time together at the church faspa on Sunday, rumours are starting to spread that they are “more than just […]

The Daily Bonnet

Where did you meet your Mennonite spouse?

August 27, 2019 Andrew

There are only so many places that Mennonites meet. In order to get a better sense of just where these meetings occur, the Daily Bonnet Sociological Society has established this survey. So, where did you […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finds Romance in the Sausage Aisle at Zehrs

July 29, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON When Miss Susannah Wenger went shopping this past Wednesday in Kitchener, she never thought she’d meet the love of her life in the sausage aisle. “There I was, perusing the wide variety of […]

Unger Suspicion

Mrs. Reimer to Star in New Remake: “The Bible School Graduate”

June 26, 2019 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Indeed! A lot has changed in the past fifty years since the release of the 1967 classic The Graduate. Five decades later the film is being given a […]

Unger & Thirst

Sound of Knacking Zoat Used as Mennonite Mating Call

May 2, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Young Mennonite men throughout the Grunthal region, including Gnadenfeld, Kronsgard, and Alt-Bergfeld, have been loudly knacking their zoat on the back of Ernie Friesen’s pick-up truck this weekend in hopes of attracting eligible […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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