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romance

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tucks His Beloved Ronnie’s Into Bed For the Night

July 30, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades of searching for love with no success, local man Arnold Hiebert, 63, has finally found his lifelong companion. Arnold is now officially betrothed to a bag of Ronnie’s Jumbo dill pickle […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Left in Awkward Position After Neighbouring Passenger Falls Asleep on His Shoulder

July 15, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN On a flight from South Bend to New York City this week, local man Arthur Yoder was left in a really awkward position after a neighbouring passenger fell asleep on the Mennonite man’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Impresses Woman With His Ability to Consume Raw Rhubarb

October 2, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Corny Wall, 21, of Swift Current consumed stick after stick of raw rhubarb this weekend all in an effort to win the heart of his crush Lina Kornelsen. “Oba, if Lina doesn’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Convinced New Pfizer Shot Gives Him More Stamina During Meddachschlop

May 17, 2021 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Gordon Klassen, 49, of Rosenort was very excited to get the new Pfizer shot and is absolutely convinced it has had some added benefits. “Besides just preventing me from getting Covid, I get […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Thrills Wife with Fleeting Half-Assed Massage

May 16, 2021 Andrew

YARROW, BC Tim Driedger, 43, of Yarrow showed his appreciation for his lovely wife Susan this afternoon with a brief shoulder rub, while on his way to the couch. “Happy Birthday,” said Tim, giving Susan’s […]

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