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romance

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Thrills Wife with Fleeting Half-Assed Massage

May 16, 2021 Andrew

YARROW, BC Tim Driedger, 43, of Yarrow showed his appreciation for his lovely wife Susan this afternoon with a brief shoulder rub, while on his way to the couch. “Happy Birthday,” said Tim, giving Susan’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Refunded Tuition After Graduating Bible School Single

May 7, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Samantha Peters, 22, was the lone unmarried graduate at Vankla Bible Institute this spring and, thus, was refunded her full tuition including the cost of textbooks. “Ugh, well, I guess I just wasted […]

Unger & Thirst

Romantic Gesture Turns into Quite the Quandary for Mennonite Woman

March 8, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK All Mr. Wiens was trying to do was bring a little romance into the relationship by purchasing a package of Love Hearts for his wife Doris. “Little did I know they contained […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Seven Hottest Mennonite Sex Positions

February 14, 2021 Andrew

Need to spice up your love life? Look no further than the Mennonites! It’s the worst kept secret in the world: Mennonites are near the top when it comes to love-making. How else do you […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Endorses One of Her Ex-Boyfriends for President

October 9, 2020 Andrew

WEST READING, PA Perpetually heartbroken singer-songwriter Taylor Swift has weighed into the political realm this week and endorsed “a young man who broke my heart years ago” for President. “Although Dillon is not actually on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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