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romance

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Has Quick Nooner

April 7, 2018 Andrew

KIDRON, OH Mrs. Anne Miller of Kidron rushed home on her lunch break this past Friday to meet her husband Peter and have a quick noon-hour Bible reading. “We really didn’t have much time, but […]

Unger Suspicion

Documentary “The Shape of Water” Tells the Story of a Mennonite Woman and Her Husband Abe

March 8, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The big winner at the Oscars this year was Guillermo del Toro’s documentary The Shape of Water, which tells the tale of a passionate romance between a Mennonite woman named Helen Elias and a […]

Unger Suspicion

Lonely White Male Spends Romantic Evening Alone Watching Ben Shapiro Videos

February 14, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Jeffrey Froese, 31, manager at a local Office Depot, plans to spend an intimate evening alone tonight watching videos by controversial right-wing political pundit Ben Shapiro. This is basically what Froese does every […]

The Daily Bonnet

Romance Tips for Mennonites

February 14, 2018 Andrew

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Both the coldest and warmest holiday of the year. Today, we hit the streets of Altona to find out what the locals were doing for Valentine’s Day and to see if they […]

Unger Suspicion

Singer Ed Sheeran Engaged to Every Woman Who Ever Yelled “Marry Me, Ed” at One of His Concerts

January 22, 2018 Andrew

SUFFOLK, UK According to British law, mellow pop singer Ed Sheeran is legally engaged to more than 12,000 women who have yelled, “marry me,” at his concerts over the years. Among the lucky young women […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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