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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Still Waiting for the Rest of the Story from Paul Harvey

June 6, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba are unsure what they’re supposed to make of everything that’s been happening lately and are just waiting for Paul Harvey to explain it all to them in the words […]

Unger Suspicion

CBC Bans Popular Plautdietsch Christmas Song ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte!’

December 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Executives at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation have decided to ban the popular Plautdietsch holiday tune ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte’, after thousands of Canadians complained they didn’t know what the heck the words […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Calls Into ‘Trading Post’ Every Day for Thirty Years

February 28, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Mrs. L. Brandt has been trying to get rid of her old ironing board on the radio Trading Post for the past three decades. “I haven’t missed a Trading Post since the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Holdeman Radio Station Plays Nothing but Static

December 8, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Radio listeners in southern Manitoba have a new option on the dial after a young entrepreneur decided to launch a station dedicated to playing all the best Holdeman hits! CJHLDM 108.3 FM promises […]

Unger Suspicion

Drake to Read Local Funeral Announcements

May 11, 2017 Andrew

DALMENY, SK A local radio station has hired Canadian rap sensation Drake to read the funeral announcements while the regular host is on vacation. “We’re really excited to get Drake in here to spice things […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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