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politics

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites to Hold Annual ‘Running of the Dairy Cows’ Down Pennsylvania Avenue Today

January 20, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Inspired by a similar tradition in small town Spain, American Mennonites plan to hold their annual ‘Running of the Dairy Cows’ today in Washington, DC. “It’s nice to see they’ve already roped off […]

Unger Conviction

Calvinist Spies Hack Mennonite Church Board Election

January 16, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After the surprise election of abrasive and unlikable church member Hans Yoder to the elder board, rumours are spreading that a group of subversive Calvinists have interfered in the election. “There’s just no […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’

December 23, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new federal law that forbids Mennonites from saying ‘oba‘ has come under fierce opposition from the Canadian Mennonite community. “Oba, this law makes just no sense,” said Pastor Art Harms of Leamington, Ontario. “Oba […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local City Councillors Propose Budget of $0 For 2017

December 21, 2016 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB “Oba, stuff shouldn’t cost so much yet.” So said a local councillor at last night’s city council meeting. In reaction to the utterly startling revelation that “things actually cost money,” a small faction […]

The Daily Bonnet

Niverville to Build $24 Million Arts Centre Just to Prove They’re Better Than Steinbach

December 20, 2016 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB There has long been a friendly rivalry between the small but growing town of Niverville, Manitoba and it’s larger Mennonite neighbour Steinbach. Now that rivalry has been taken to new heights as Niverville […]

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