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papsi

Unger & Thirst

Health Conscious Mennonite Woman Opts for ‘Diet Papsi’

July 4, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area woman Agnes Epp, 71, has decided to make a few changes in her life, including reducing her sugar intake. “So that’s why I’ve gone over to the Diet Papsi,” said Epp. “Do […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Arrested in Atlanta for Drinking Pepsi

March 27, 2024 Andrew

ATLANTA, GA Joseph Bergman, 44, was arrested in Atlanta, Georgia this week after being spotted with a can of Pepsi-Cola. “This is Coca-Cola territory,” said officer Schmidt. “Everyone knows that. We simply can’t have people […]

Unger & Thirst

Paper Straw Totally Disintegrates Before Mennonite Man Gets to the Bottom of His Papsi

August 24, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Art Brandt, 58, was enjoying a Papsi and Ravel at his favourite local burger joint this past week, when he discovered they were now offering paper straws instead of the ones […]

Unger & Thirst

7-11 Introduces New ‘Mennonite Slurpee’

August 16, 2022 Andrew

ROSENGART, MB The yerba mate will be flowing like frozen Papsi this summer, as more than a dozen 7-11 stores in the Pembina Valley darpa will be offering a new product known as the ‘Mennonite […]

Unger & Thirst

Supply Chain Crisis Now Threatening Papsi and Ravels

December 6, 2021 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB The supply chain crisis is now causing a considerable backlog in the Papsi and Ravel supply, such that residents of the small Mennonite town of Kleefeld have resorted to eating dilly bars with […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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