LANCASTER, PA Thousands of hipsters across the United States will be forced to shave off their beards at the end of this month after a Pennsylvania court ruled these beards a “clear violation” of a […]
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA A Mennonite hunter from rural Pennsylvania shot and ate an innocent little weather-forecasting groundhog yesterday, thus condemning the entire continent to perpetual winter. Mr. Yoder said the groundhog was delicious, but says he […]
HOLLYWOOD, CA In an effort to clean up the violent image of the previous film, the good folks at Disney have made a refreshing change to the new Lion King movie. Instead of defeating the […]
MORDEN, MB Video game players across the Pembina Valley have lined up outside local Walmarts and Giant Tigers this week for the release of ‘Call of Duty: Morden Warfare.’ “Jauma, I can’t wait to try […]
VATICAN CITY Pope Francis modified centuries of church teaching this week by calling for the near complete abolishment of the death penalty, except for “particularly heinous crimes such as manspreading and those freakin’ annoying guys […]
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