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Unger Suspicion

Toronto Man Arrested for Pronouncing the Second T

August 21, 2021 Andrew

TORONNO, ON A 31-year-old lifelong Toronno resident, Gord Dueck, has been arrested on charges of mispronouncing the city’s name and will appear in court later this week. “We’re a pretty tolerant and inclusive city, but […]

Unger Conviction

“Freedom-Loving” Pastor Won’t Let Women Wear Pants

April 30, 2021 Andrew

DOMMHEIT, ON Canada’s most freedom-loving pastor, Apostle Hank, is all about liberty and personal freedoms without any coercion or undue influence from authority figures. “Our freedoms are being eroded daily!” exclaimed Apostle Hank to a […]

The Daily Bonnet

St. Catharines, Ontario to be Renamed Taunte Katherine’s

February 24, 2021 Andrew

TAUNTE KATHERINE’S, ON After having reached the required minimum threshold of resident Mennonite aunties, the city of St. Catharines has voted to officially change its name to Taunte Katherine’s effective the first of the month. […]

Unger Games

SkyDome to Be Replaced with Massive Doug Ford Statue

December 1, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The 30-year-old Rogers Centre, aka SkyDome, in downtown Toronto is set for demolition this winter, but locals don’t have to wait long for the newest Toronto attraction as a massive 100-meter tall statue […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite Heritage Week’ Comes and Goes Without a Single Mennonite Noticing

September 18, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The second annual Mennonite Heritage Week came and went this year without a single Mennonite in the entire country noticing. “Really? Mennonite Heritage Week? Was that this week?” wondered Mr. Zehr of Waterloo. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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