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music

Unger Suspicion

Gen Xer Super Proud of Himself After Managing to Stand for Entire Concert

February 3, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Aaron Berg, 44, has been awarded the Medal of Valour after managing to stand the entire length of the Tom Morello concert last night. “I haven’t done this since the 90s,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Starts Innovative New Jazz Label ‘EMC Records’ Guaranteed to Have No Sax

January 8, 2024 Andrew

GDANSK, POLAND Local jazz enthusiast Manfred Engbrecht has just launched a brand new record label called “EMC Records”, with a mandate to produce innovative jazz recordings without any sax. “We want to create jazz that […]

Unger Suspicion

Counting Crows Launch New Fragrance ‘The Smell of Hospitals in Winter’

December 27, 2023 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA 90s rockers Counting Crows have finally released a fragrance befitting their 1996 hit song “A Long December.” “For almost 30 years, our fans have wondered about the ‘smell of hospitals in winter’ […]

Unger Conviction

Abbotsford Music Fans Demand Brian Doerksen Open for Taylor Swift

November 21, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC A petition had been circulating in local MB church lobbies this week to have the Fraser Valley’s most popular worship leader Brian Doerksen open up for Taylor Swift in Vancouver next year. “Can […]

Unger Conviction

Snoop Dogg Gives Up Smoking after Joining Mennonite Church

November 18, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Rap icon Snoop Dogg made headlines this week after declaring that he will no longer partake in cannabis. Further investigation revealed that the dramatic lifestyle change came after an encounter with a Mennonite […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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