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Unger Suspicion

Tim Hortons Collaborates with Gordon Lightfoot for New ‘Gordon Bits’

December 22, 2021 Andrew

HAMILTON, ON Fresh off the heals of their Justin Bieber collaboration, donut manufacturer Tim Hortons has decided to make sweet tasty balls with the second most legendary Canadian musician they could find, Gordon Lightfoot. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘The Voice’ to Feature Nothing but Mennonite Family Trios from Now On

December 15, 2021 Andrew

PETTISVILLE, OH After the success of Girl Named Tom this year, NBC’s ‘The Voice’ has committed to exclusively bringing in Mennonite singing groups from now on. “The Liechtys showed us that Mennonites could sing a […]

Unger Conviction

Top 10 Most Amazing Mennonite Albums Found at the Local MCC Store

November 24, 2021 Andrew

The local MCC store always provides a treasure trove of hip and groovy Mennonite gospel gems. When you pop one of these on the turntable you’re in for a wild night. The album covers are […]

Unger Suspicion

Pop Star Releases New ‘Voices Together (Taylor’s Version)’

November 14, 2021 Andrew

WEST READING, PA It’s a little known fact that as a young girl in Pennsylvania, pop star Taylor Swift became quite familiar with the Mennonite Church hymnal. This, according to Swift, is what inspired her […]

Unger Suspicion

Zondervan Releases New ‘Greatest Hits’ Bible

September 30, 2021 Andrew

GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN HarperCollins-owned “Christian” publisher Zondervan has recently released a totally awesome new Bible that skips all the boring parts and just includes the stuff that people actually read today. “People don’t have time […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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