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moon

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Circle the Earth For Next Two Months, Causing Mini-moon

October 1, 2024 Andrew

EARTH A Mennonite man will be circling the Earth for the next two months, causing what scientists are calling a “mini-moon.” “It’s not as large as the moon we usually see,” said Neil DeGrasse Tyson, […]

The Daily Bonnet

NASA Commemorates Historic “First Mennonite on the Moon”

November 8, 2019 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS NASA paused for moment of silence this morning in recognition of the 50 year anniversary of the historic landing of Mennonites on the moon. Mennonites made the voyage in 1969 and have been […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Man Missing Wide Range of Body Parts After Spending Frigid Winter Night Staring at the Moon

January 20, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man David Peters froze into a solid block of ice this evening as he stood outside in -30 degree temperatures trying to look at the lunar eclipse. Local doctors managed to thaw […]

Unger Conviction

Blood Moon ‘A Sign From God’ that the Reign of the Fundamentalist Mennonite Elders Has Come to an End

July 27, 2018 Andrew

BERGTHAL, MB Conservative Mennonites across North America are interpreting tonight’s blood moon as a ‘clear sign from God’ that they no longer have to follow the ‘bullshit rules’ of the elders and can now live […]

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More from the unger review

  • CBC Bans Popular Plautdietsch Christmas Song ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte!’
    December 12, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Lives the Exact Same Day Over and Over and Over
    February 2, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Approves ‘Scandalous’ New Hemline
    November 15, 2018
  • Toronto Maple Leafs Pursue First Goal Since 1967
    October 4, 2017
  • How to Get That Perfect Mennonite ‘Dad Bod’ You Always Wanted
    June 17, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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