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Unger Suspicion

A List of Things American Mennonites Can Buy with their $600 Stimulus Checks

January 23, 2021 Andrew

The check (sic) is in the mail! To ease the troubled financial situation that many Americans are facing these days, Senators and Members of Congress who make $174,000 a year have generously consented to sending […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma’s Vintage CorningWare Worth Millions and Millions of Dollars

January 4, 2021 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A set of casserole dishes that Mrs. Brubaker, 76, got as a wedding gift in 1964 has sold for a record $8.5 million dollars at a local thrift store this week. “I think […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Wiebe Raises Adult Son’s Allowance to 5 Shiny New Quarters a Week

November 21, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Agnes Wiebe is excited to announce that her 48-year-old son Derrick, who sleeps on the couch in her partly-finished Blumenort basement, will be seeing a raise in his allowance from 4 shiny new […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach “Most Generous Community in Canada” Once Again After Surge in Covid Fines

November 9, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbachers are known across Canada for their generosity, often topping the list of largest charitable donations per capita. This spirit of generosity appears to continue, this week, as thousands of Steinbachers have each […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loses Thousands Betting on Replays of Last Year’s Football Games

June 20, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mr. Unger was so excited to finally be able to watch some Canadian football games this week that he bet his friend Mr. Toews more than ten thousand dollars that the Ticats […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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