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Unger Conviction

Hillsong Documentary Crew Turns Lens on Tiny Mennonite Country Church

July 29, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENGART, SK Fresh off the success of their Hillsong documentary, the Discovery Channel is now pointing its lens at the tiny Blumengart EMBCCMCBB church in rural Saskatchewan. “We spent six months there with hidden cameras […]

Unger Conviction

Neighbourhood Church Has Staff of 30 Pastors for Some Reason

July 7, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The local Waters of Thankful Fellowship church has an average weekly attendance of just over 200 people but has a pastoral staff of more than 30 full time positions for some reason. “Here […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Shoppers Seek ‘Bargain Basement’ Prices

October 26, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Teichroeb family has just moved to town and have been church shopping for the past several months. At the rate of one church a week, they will have visited every church in […]

Unger Conviction

Church Cell Group Consists Mostly of Endoplasmic Reticulum

January 8, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A new scientific analysis from the University of Southern Alberta has demonstrated that the vast majority of church cell groups consist of nothing more than endoplasmic reticulum. “We were hoping to find some […]

Unger Conviction

Report: Shallow Repetitive Worship Songs More Pleasing to the Lord than Hymns

September 2, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A report out of the University of Southern Lancaster suggests that really shallow, repetitive, self-indulgent ‘Praise and Worship’ songs are a full 20% more pleasing to the Lord than the boring old hymns. “I’m pretty […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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