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mcdonalds

Unger & Thirst

Despair Strikes Mennonite Man After Fruitless Search for Ketchup

January 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Joel Berg, 43, spent more than an hour this afternoon rifling through his McDonald’s bag in search of ketchup, but, alas, it was all for naught. “I pulled over to do […]

Unger & Thirst

Fake Russian McDonalds Offers Limp Flavourless Fries Called ‘Putin’

June 18, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA After all the real McDonalds stores shut down this week, a new FakeDonalds is setting up shop in Russia and promises to offer a number of new menu items, including a variation on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hopes of McDonald’s Dashed as Mennonite Children Told “We Have Perfectly Good Food at Home!”

May 30, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The Hildebrandt family drove into the big city of Leamington this weekend to pick up a truck load of items at the local Walmart. Hopes of stopping for Happy Meals were quickly dashed, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Orders Child Size Coke and Stays All Afternoon for Refills

August 6, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man and financial advisor Mr. Kornelsen decided he’d get the biggest bang for his buck if he ordered a kid’s size Coke and down refill after refill all afternoon at his local […]

Unger & Thirst

Children Not So Happy After Dad Drives Off with Happy Meals on the Roof of His Car

April 14, 2019 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mr. Earl Penner had some explaining to do after he inadvertently drove off with the kid’s Happy Meals on the roof of his car. “I came home and I was, like, ‘Well, we’ve […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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