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maple leafs

Unger Games

Toronto Couple Sells Small Empty Lot to Buy 40% Stake in the Maple Leafs

September 23, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Toronto school teachers, Pamela and Andrew Doerksen, have just sold a small empty Danforth lot for $990 million and used the money to buy, like, 40% of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “I had […]

Unger Suspicion

Maple Leafs to Social Distance from the Cup Again this Year

July 2, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON While the upcoming NHL season may be a bit strange for most of the other teams, it’s business as usual for the Toronto Maple Leafs who have been practicing social distancing from the […]

Unger Games

Toronto Reaches Trade Deal with St. Louis to Swap Trophies

June 14, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After stiff negotiations, the City of Toronto has reached a trade deal with the City of St. Louis to trade their NBA Championship Trophy for a Stanley Cup. “Of course, St. Louis doesn’t […]

Unger Games

Toronto Maple Leafs Pursue First Goal Since 1967

October 4, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Expectations for the Toronto Maple Leafs are quite high this year. Having not scored a goal in fifty years, fans are hoping that this will finally be the year that the curse is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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