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maple leafs

Unger Games

Maple Leafs Hire Loblaws CEO Galen Weston to Artificially Inflate Fan Expectations

May 13, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A few short days after being tossed from the playoffs and firing yet another head coach, the Toronto Maple Leafs have announced the signing of Loblaws CEO Galen Weston, renowned across the country […]

Unger Games

Toronto Maple Leafs Announce Plans to Relocate to Las Vegas

June 13, 2023 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV After decades without a Stanley Cup, the Toronto Maple Leafs have finally come up with a plan that will guarantee them a victory in the near future – moving to Las Vegas. […]

Unger Games

Toronto Couple Sells Small Empty Lot to Buy 40% Stake in the Maple Leafs

September 23, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Toronto school teachers, Pamela and Andrew Doerksen, have just sold a small empty Danforth lot for $990 million and used the money to buy, like, 40% of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “I had […]

Unger Suspicion

Maple Leafs to Social Distance from the Cup Again this Year

July 2, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON While the upcoming NHL season may be a bit strange for most of the other teams, it’s business as usual for the Toronto Maple Leafs who have been practicing social distancing from the […]

Unger Games

Toronto Reaches Trade Deal with St. Louis to Swap Trophies

June 14, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After stiff negotiations, the City of Toronto has reached a trade deal with the City of St. Louis to trade their NBA Championship Trophy for a Stanley Cup. “Of course, St. Louis doesn’t […]

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